


Ir Abelas

by AriesFool



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cole is a precious child, F/M, Inquisitor is a BAMF, Iron Bull is also a BAMF, Post-Trespasser, Rated teen for language, Trespasser DLC, Trespasser Spoilers, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriesFool/pseuds/AriesFool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Pain, stinging, aching, it’s not there any more, he always held that hand. Made him feel close- warm, mine, ma vhenan.”<br/>“Cole.” Ghilani’s voice broke slightly as she looked around hearing the spirit of Compassion’s voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ir Abelas

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fanfic that I actually published so Feedback is welcomed!  
> Really only rated teen for language 
> 
> (this might become a series)

Two years and six months. It had been two years since they had defeated Corphyeus and Solas had gone missing. It had been six months since they had found Solas, only to discover his true identity. There was anger among so many in the Inquistion. Varric spent much time in Kirkwall but wrote to the Inquisitor about how he wished he had known, that somehow someone had known. Vivienne spent much of her free time with the Inquisitor helping her in the only way she could, Spa Days, and on occasion, the Inquisitor received a red letter with a crude drawing a Solas covered in Bees shouting about Elvhen Glory and the words “just say when.” Other members offered other means of consolation. Suggesting she move on, suggesting she forget him. She lied, said she would, and devoted herself to Divine Victoria’s honor guard, the new purpose of the Inquistion.  
\--------------------------  
“Pain, stinging, aching, it’s not there any more, he always held that hand. Made him feel close- warm, mine, ma vhenan.”  
“Cole.” Ghilani’s voice broke slightly as she looked around hearing the spirit of Compassion’s voice.  
“You may call me that still, if it helps.” He was sitting on /his/ desk. Here in the rotunda where things had been unchanged even though the Inquistion was only at Skyhold on some days. The Inquisitor still worked from there, tracking Solas, occasionally she traveled to the Divine’s side, for large Conclaves and gatherings where the Herald of Andraste had to make an appearance.  
“It does help.” She said softly looking at him where he sat on Solas’s old desk. Nothing had been moved, a shard still sat upon it, whispering something she couldn’t understand. “Have you seen him? You’ve been in the fade? Have you heard anything?” She began ranting and Cole remained silent.  
“You don’t want to know. It won’t help.” He said softly. She halted, hazel eyes flaring with irritation.  
“Creators, Cole! My fucking hand is gone! The only man I’ve ever trusted turned out to be the fucking Dread Wolf! And the only being to ever try to understand what that feels like is you and I don’t need you telling me how to feel!” She snapped finally, Cole didn’t even flinch.  
“Boss, is everything alright?” She heard Iron Bull call from the hall, he had become her left hand, literally… He protected her in the first few fights after she lost her hand, took a Templar Blade in the shoulder just because she couldn’t cast fast enough. He had held her in the first nights, as she cried, cried until the tears would no longer come. He had been there when they had found him and had practically carried her back when her own legs stopped moving.  
“Don’t worry, he won’t see me.” His voice was soft and she nodded softly.  
“I’m fine Bull… Can you go check with Cullen about those new recruits?” She heard him grunt and leave.  
“He hasn’t left. He still watches you.” Cole commented. “Dark, clouds roll in thick across a lake, my clan calls to me, free of Dalish markings. A wolf sits among them, red eyes staring into me- I can’t reach him, he’s too far. I can’t reach him- Solas. Dread Wolf-”  
“Stop.” She said her voice weak. “Please Cole. I don’t think you can help right now… This is pain I need to keep still… Just a bit longer.”  
“When you need to forget-”  
“I won’t.”  
It was silent then, the rotunda empty. She looked at her left arm, it stopped just at her elbow, and still ached, like she could feel her hand still. Could feel the mark there. She licked her lips slightly and flexed her hands- hand. She walked over to the white couch pushed against the wall, how many hours had she once spent here, listening to him speak, going on about things he had seen in the Fade, things that had given him such feelings that she had once seen him on the verge of tears, just describing Dwarven ruins. She could see him, pacing while he spoke. The soft lull of his voice still rang in her head.  
She doesn’t remember falling asleep, she doesn’t remember even closing her eyes. When she wakes she’s in the Fade. She looks around, she has her hand, her left hand glows with the mark and she pauses. “I don’t want it back.” She says the words aloud and it’s gone, her arm bandaged as she usually keeps it.  
She takes in her surroundings slowly, it looks like the Emerald Graves, she told him once, how she loved the forests, she felt most at home there-here. She had spent days and days exploring the Emerald Graves when they had first gotten there, discovering land marks of her people and sleeping only to find the things in the Fade that Solas had to explain, but she gained new knowledge of her people, things no one knew.  
Here was different, the birds chirped idly in the trees, August Rams ran about, but when she approached they didn’t run away, they bowed to her, like an old friend. She bowed in response, as was only proper.  
She walked slowly, what dream was this? She hadn’t dreamed of the Emerald Graves since before the fight with Corypheus. She walked for what felt like miles, she felt at ease here, she only stopped when she saw Aravels, in the colors of her tribe, dark wooden browns and forest greens. They hadn’t been heard of since the fight either… They were thought dead… She started for them, greeted by her old keeper.  
“Da'len.” Her voice was comfort, like a mother’s embrace.  
“Keeper.” She all but broke down into tears throwing her arm around the keeper. “I’m so sorry, I should have come back as soon as I could, should have sent more help.” She said leaning into her as sobs shook her frame.  
“Hush Da'len, hush now, we are fine, we have always been known to disappear. But you are needed with the Shemlen right now.” She spoke, in a voice full of knowledge and kindness. Ghilani wondered what spirit was embodying her Keeper this time…  
“I failed the people. I failed you all and I couldn’t even save the man I loved from doing something that could toss the world into chaos again.” She went on. Her Keeper just soothed her, holding her and calming her with gentle words. “I have to look for him, I have to- I have to convince him to find me this time.” She said suddenly. “If I draw the right demon- get the right one’s attention he’ll come for me.”  
It was then that the whispers came, they were clearer now, Mythal spoke to her, knew of a place in the fade, a place that had once been for sacrifices to the Dread Wolf, that was plagued with demons of Pride.  
Her Keeper couldn’t keep her, couldn’t stop her from going, she had it in her mind, she was going to bring him back. She would make him find her. She heard it before she saw it, whispers at the edge of her being. “Herald of Andraste, Pride of the Dalish…” the whispers tugged at her, egged her on. “Inquisitor, there is so much more you could be- just the right”  
“Enough.” His voice cut through it all and she froze, searching, her eyes scanning everything around her, she stood by the river in the Graves, she could see him, just on the other side, but the river gushed, she couldn’t cross. She could see him, hear him.  
“Solas.”  
He looked at her, disappointment in his eyes, he wore robes similar to a Dalish Keeper, she remembered crafting them for him with Dagna, a master work made with a demon slaying rune.  
“What are you doing?” He asked sternly, he looked at her irritated, the way he had looked when she drank from the Well of Sorrows.  
“Looking for the Dread Wolf. I hear he wanders these parts.” She said with a smirk. “See he took my left arm, and my heart.” She heard his sigh and grinned slightly. It pained her just to look at him.  
“Is that so? I wonder who told you that? Was it Cole? He comes around so often, I think he tracks me, does he do that for you?”  
Ghilani blushed, a soft pink raising under the black markings of Mythal, slave brands, that she kept. “No, he won’t tell me where you are- when I see him, he offers to help me forget.”  
“You should”  
“I refuse.” She said softly. “Ir abelas, Ma vhenan. You will not be rid of me so easily.” She watched him turn from her as she started across the river, the water rushed her legs and she grunted with effort.  
“We had something real isn’t that enough, what are you doing? Vhenan don’t cross-” She barely heard him before the water pushed her over and she was under the rush of the water, it was cold and dark, she could feel it crushing over her, until she felt his hands pulling her out by her shoulders, touching her face, checking her for harm, cursing in Elven. She sputtered, coughing and shivering slightly, sometimes it amazed her how real dreams with him felt. She held his arm, tightly, afraid he would run.  
“Please, So- Fen’ Harel.” She spoke searching his eyes, he sighed in defeat and pulled her close, she was dry now, as if she had never braved the river. He held her, inhaled her scent and soothed her hair when she began to tear up.  
“Please don’t cry, ma vhenan, I cannot stand to see you like this.” He murmured and she sniffed slightly rubbing her eyes.  
“Not crying.” She lied.  
“You were always a terrible liar.” He murmured kissing her forehead gently and humming. She pressed closer, wrapping her arm around him and kissing his lips gently, trying to memorize the taste. She felt electrified, like all the energy in her body had amplified. “You should wake up.”  
Her eyes grew wide, terrified, “Please, no, don’t I’ve only just found you there is so much I need to say.”  
“Wake up, Ma vhenan, wake up.”  
She shot up, sitting on the white couch in the rotunda. She saw Cole sitting there with his head tilted. “Did you find him?”  
“Yes. Perhaps- maybe I should forget, just for a little while.”  
“No.” Cole stated calmly. “Aching, pain, need to forget, forgetting will make it better, make it stop. Don’t want to forget, but have to- he wants that.”  
“Stop it Cole.” She growled slightly.  
“You want to forget, you think it will help but you know that’s not what you need. You need to remember, you have to stop him Inquisitor. It has to be you.”  
Ghilani wanted Solas back, he was right, of course he was right he could feel her thoughts, processed them clearly now that he was a spirit. 

“It has to be me. I’ll find him. I’ll hunt the Dread Wolf myself.”


End file.
